Are there certain truths you know twice? Are there things that you were told but you still had to find out for yourself whether or not they were really true or not?
It might be pride. It might be curiosity. Or it might be that I’m just not that smart sometimes but I have had to learn way too many things the hard way. Why am I like that? It is true that listening and believing the testimony of other would have saved me a fair amount of pain but sometimes it not all bad to know things twice.
For most of my life I have known that God loves me. I sang about it in Sunday school and kid’s church. I heard it from my parents and grandparents. When I was seven I even committed it to memory, “For God so loved the world (Dennis) that he gave His one and only Son that whosoever (Dennis) believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”
While I knew this – that God loves me – I never really understood the extent of this love, or better stated, the limits of my understanding of His love for all of us, until June 28, 1998.
At 10:17 p.m. on June 27, 1998 Amy gave birth to our first child (Drew) and all was right with the world. At 4:30 a.m. on June 28, 1998 I was standing in the neonatal ICU looking down at my tiny baby boy not knowing whether he would live or if he would die.
How could life change in such a short amount of time? Sleep deprived, exhausted, and gripped by fear I tried to pray but couldn’t. Unable to form words into a coherent request I resorted to repeatedly crying out to the Lord in a simple but frantic one-word prayer: “please”. I said it over and over again in my mind. “Please…Please…Please”
It was into this desperate and painfilled moment that God taught me something about His love. I'll tell you about it next time.